Emotional and Verbal abuse of women

Just last month I had written about Toxic relationship, that my daughter is in and now that relationship it has taken a turn for the worse. So I tried to read up everything about woman abuse I can find on the internet and was shocked to know that one in three women have been a victim of abuse in India. I have penned few pointers that i read on various articles with the hope it might help some abused woman who chances to read this post.

Domestic violence against women in India is a worrying factor and nearly 33% of the women population have been abused physically or emotionally. The percentage may be even higher as many of the cases do not get reported for the fear of being shunned from the society and peers and women keep continuing in this abusive relationship. The term domestic violence is coined for abuse generally by husband or relatives but then women get abused by unrelated persons at place of study/work and this abuse may not be physical instead but verbal and emotional abuse. I have been regularly hearing my maid of her physical and mental abuse by her husband and also have seen the life my sister has gone through while her husband was alive... it is quite scaring  

Women may think that they are not being abused if not being physically beaten but its untrue for abuse can be verbal as well as emotional .This often leads to physical abuse later in life. Emotional and verbal abuse have long-time consequences such as depressions and is just as serious as physical abuse.



 A person can know if they are being abused if you have experienced the following

• ·         Extreme jealousy and accusing you of cheating
• ·         Isolating behaviour –Prevents you from seeing your friends or family
• ·         Controlling behaviour – What you wear, whom you see and what you do  
•          Tries to prevent you from going to work or college or friends place.
• ·         Calling or texting continuously when you are not there around
• ·         Gets angry in a way it is frightening to you
• ·         Threatens to hurt you or your loved ones
• ·         Threatens to harm themselves when upset with you.
• ·         Control your finances and how you spend them
• ·         Calls you insulting names and humiliates you in front of others
• ·         Says “If i can’t have you then no one can”

Emotional and verbal abuse may begin suddenly. Some abusers may start out behaving normally and then begin abuse after a relationship is established. Some abusers may purposefully give a lot of love and attention, including compliments and requests to see you often, in the beginning of a relationship. Often, the abuser tries to make the other person feel strongly bonded to them, as though it is just the two of them “against the world.”

Women often overlook the above signs thinking that they would be able to change the person once they are married but sadly they fail miserably since you can only change someone only if they want to change. Trying to change or rescue is a lost battle .So it is better to change oneself and leave such relationship however hard it is to have a better life in future and to avoid lifelong pains. 

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may think that there is no way out and staying in that relationship can be far worse than that of leaving the relationship. Remaining in a toxic and abusive relationship can put your life and that of your loved ones at a risk as the abuser would take out their anger on you or the loved ones. This could become violent in addition to plethora of emotional consequences leading to depressions and suicidal tendencies.

• ·         People treat you how you allow yourself to be treated.
• ·         Never live in a false hope of things will get better later.
• ·         Don’t look for people to save you from your abuser
• ·         No one can help you if you are not willing to help yourself
• ·         Only you can take necessary actions on your own behalf  

An abusive partner regularly reinforces the idea that you cannot escape the relationship and you would not a life without them in it. They do that to ensure that you believe their statement and this way maintain a control over you. Abusers are expert manipulators with a knack for getting you to believe that the way you are being treated is your fault. They know that everyone has insecurities, and they use those insecurities against you to the full extent.

Abusive relationships often have these intense moments of feeling good and sincere apologies or attempts to make up for the bad behaviour. This in turn makes you to clings to hope that all will be well when these moments occur and the abuser knows this and is playing with your emotions.

The only way you can escape from these relationship is to getaway totally from the partner and sever all ties to the person and I am sure that you that in a period of time you will get over this person. You will be making the right decision to have a better life for yourself and your loved ones … no looking back so move out of the toxic relationship now..

All the very best for a happy new life and please ensure that you are treated well in your future relationship. God bless