Tea Kadai conversations Episode 19 -- Happening within Ashiana Shubham

 

The past few days have been rather eventful, both within our community and on the home front, leaving me with very little time to pen down these happenings.

On the 6th of this month, a theft was reported from a flat in Phase 2 of our Ashiana community. Two gold rings weighing around 9 grams were found missing. The flat owner suspected Chandra, a stand-in maid who had come in place of the regular maid, who was on her weekly off. The owner initially complained to the housekeeping service provider. During their internal inquiry, the maid vehemently denied any wrongdoing. However, not being satisfied with the investigation, the owner lodged a complaint with the MaraimalaiNagar Police Station. The police acted swiftly and questioned the maid. After initially denying the allegation, she eventually confessed to the theft. She revealed that she had handed over the stolen rings to her husband, who had pledged them at a pawn broker's shop in MaraimalaiNagar. The police recovered the rings, and after due identification, they were returned to their rightful owners.

The incident created quite a furore among the residents. Many blamed the service provider for failing to carry out adequate background verification of workers employed by the various subcontractors operating within the gated community. At the same time, the episode serves as a reminder that residents too must remain vigilant. Valuables should always be kept in locked cupboards or lockers instead of being left in plain sight while housekeeping staff are working inside the home. Unfortunately, incidents of theft within the community have become more frequent of late, perhaps because many of the residents are senior citizens who tend to be more trusting and less vigilant about safeguarding their belongings.

On the personal front, the 6th of July also marked the end of a wonderful family reunion. Our younger daughter, who had been home from Canada on a two-week vacation, flew back to Toronto. Around the same time, our elder daughter moved to Mumbai to take up a new assignment. Their departures have suddenly created a void in our lives. The house, which had been buzzing with activity and laughter over the past few weeks, now feels unusually quiet. I suppose the reality of the "empty nest syndrome" has finally sunk in for both of us.

Just as we were coming to terms with this new phase, another unexpected challenge awaited us. In the early hours of 11th July, while I was in the restroom, my wife called me over the phone saying she was feeling extremely unwell and asked me to come immediately. I found her shivering violently with a very high fever. I immediately contacted the duty nurses at Ashiana, who checked her temperature and found it to be over 104°F. They advised us to rush her to the nearest hospital without delay.

We traveled by the community ambulance to SRM Global Hospital, where she was admitted through the Emergency Department. The doctors first stabilized her condition and then recommended admission for further investigations to determine the cause of the high fever and chills. She was started on intravenous fluids and antibiotics, and the treatment continued for three days, requiring a total hospital stay of four days.

Being alone at home posed its own set of challenges. While I wanted to be by her side throughout, I also had the responsibility of returning home to take care of and feed our pet cat. Consequently, I had to arrange for caretakers to stay with her during the nights in the hospital.

Much to her relief, she was discharged on 14th July, just in time before our son-in-law's departure. He had extended his stay by an additional week and was scheduled to fly back to Toronto on the 15th. One of my wife's biggest concerns during her hospital stay was that she might not be able to see him off. Thankfully, she recovered sufficiently, and together we were able to bid him farewell at Chennai International Airport on the morning of 15th July.

Life certainly has a way of keeping us on our toes. Within a span of just a few days, we experienced the anxiety of a theft in the community, the emotional emptiness of our daughters leaving home, and the health scare of my wife's sudden hospitalization. Thankfully, the stolen jewellery was recovered, my wife responded well to treatment, and despite the emotional void left by our children, we remain grateful that everyone is safe and settling into their respective journeys. Such moments remind us to cherish good health, value our loved ones, and appreciate the resilience that helps us navigate life's unexpected turns.

 

Fulfillment of Vows after decades

 

In the first week of July 2026, my wife along with our daughters, had the privilege of fulfilling a long-pending vow at Sri Guruvayoor Temple—a moment that marked the culmination of decades of faith, hope, and gratitude.My wife had taken a vow to perform Tulabharam with sugar for herself and our daughters during some of the most challenging periods of our lives. The first vows were made when our daughters faced serious medical emergencies in their early years. Later, in 2015, when my wife was diagnosed with cancer, she made another Tulabharam vow, praying for strength and recovery.

For reasons beyond our control, every time we planned a pilgrimage to Guruvayoor, something unexpected would arise, forcing us to postpone the trip. What was intended to be fulfilled in a matter of months or years remained pending for nearly 28 years in the case of our daughters' vows, and over a decade in the case of my wife's own vow.

At long last, all these vows were fulfilled together during our recent visit to Guruvayoor. As each Tulabharam was completed, one could literally hear the sigh of relief from my wife. It was not merely the completion of a ritual but was the fulfillment of promises made during moments of fear, uncertainty, and unwavering faith. It brought with it a deep sense of peace, gratitude, and closure.

Story of Sri Krishana, Sathyabama 

and  Rukumani Credits: Google

For those unfamiliar with the practice, Tulabharam literally means "weighing on the scales." It is an ancient Hindu ritual in which a devotee sits on one side of a large balance and is weighed against a chosen offering, such as sugar, bananas, jaggery, grains, coins, or even gold. The equivalent weight of the offering is then donated to the temple or to charity. The ritual is performed in fulfillment of vows, as an expression of gratitude for answered prayers, to seek divine blessings, or to pray for recovery from illness.

Tulabharam is regarded in Hindu tradition as one of the Shodasha Mahadanas—the sixteen great acts of charity. It also finds a place in Hindu mythology and history, with several inspiring stories illustrating that sincere devotion and faith are valued far more than material wealth.

For our family, this pilgrimage was much more than the completion of a religious ritual. It was a thanksgiving for our daughters' recovery, gratitude for my wife's journey through cancer, and the fulfillment of sacred promises that had accompanied us through some of life's most difficult years.

My wife returned from Guruvayoor with hearts full of gratitude and a profound sense of peace. Some vows may take years even decades to fulfill, but when they are finally honoured, the feeling of completion is truly beyond words.

Relationships – A Choice We Make

 

Image Credits Google Images

I know I may be writing what some would dismiss as "crap," but then it is my crap. Sometimes putting thoughts on paper is the best way to release the tension that builds up in the mind. This isn't about lovers or mistresses; it is about the everyday relationships we share with family, friends, colleagues, and the people around us.

Have you ever tried to help someone with the best of intentions, only to have things not work out and then find yourself being blamed for the failure? I am sure this is not uncommon. The person who genuinely tries to help often ends up feeling hurt and misunderstood.

This has happened to me many times over the years. I could probably write a book recounting such incidents, but that would take far too long! Slowly, I have reached the conclusion that one has to be very careful before stepping in to help relatives or friends. Good intentions do not always translate into good outcomes, and misunderstandings can easily strain relationships. Despite these experiences, I still try to be kind because I would rather preserve a relationship than win an argument.

Looking back, I feel there are a few major factors that affect relationships, and each of us may have our own experiences and opinions about them.

Money is undoubtedly one of the biggest reasons relationships fall apart. That is true in real life, though not always in reel life, where everything is wrapped up with a happy ending! One principle I have always followed is to avoid financial transactions with relatives and close friends as far as possible. Thankfully, this approach has helped me avoid major conflicts, though there have been the occasional grumblings. So far, I think I have managed reasonably well.

Ego is another relationship spoiler. It is particularly visible in workplaces where teamwork is essential. A single individual with an inflated ego can demoralize an entire team and reduce its effectiveness. Some people justify such behavior because of seniority, qualifications, or position, but the impact on others remains the same. I usually tread carefully in such situations, choosing to defuse conflicts rather than escalate them. Unfortunately, if someone consistently lets ego dominate their behavior, sometimes the only practical solution is to distance yourself.

A friend once pointed out another important factor, and I completely agree—expectations.

Expectations often become the silent destroyers of relationships, whether between friends, family members, partners, or even within organizations. When expectations become unrealistically high, disappointment is almost inevitable. The resulting hurt can slowly replace trust with resentment. I have witnessed this both within my own family and in professional life, and the emotional pain it creates can be immense.

Perhaps the secret is to expect less and appreciate more. When kindness, help, or affection comes without expectation, the joy experienced is often far greater. Unexpected acts of goodness have a way of touching our hearts more deeply than those we believe are owed to us.

We all have choices. We can choose to spend time with friends, relatives, partners, and even pets who enrich our lives. More importantly, relationships need constant nurturing—with attention, understanding, patience, and thoughtfulness. We cannot rewrite the mistakes of the past or change the behaviour of others, but we can choose how we respond today.

If we care for our relationships, we may be rewarded with flowers in full bloom. But if we constantly choose confrontation, suspicion, and resentment, we should not be surprised if all that remains is a withered garden.

The choice, as always, is ours.

Choose to nurture your relationships, cherish the people who matter, and you will almost certainly become a happier and better human being.